Is It Innate?

I have seen multiple takes on whether being Dom or sub is an innate thing, something that we just ARE and discover.

I know it’s like that for me. Like sexual orientation, I am just built this way. I’ve tried to be other things, from sub to switch, and I was terribly unhappy and never felt at home. When I realized that I was Dom, and began doing specific exercises to develop that, things exploded (like that image? 🙂 )

I am learning to do partner dancing. Being a good lead is domming your partner. I am a preacher; preaching is domming the congregation. I am a church musician; leading congregational singing is domming them with the organ. I am a teacher, of various things; being a teacher is domming the classroom. and so on….

As a Dom I naturally attract subs. Even before I knew what I was doing, before I fully recognized this in myself, I was attracting subs. Even if we never enter into a D/s relationship, they are subs. It’s just the polarity of attraction. I admire and enjoy the company of Dommes, but there’s no spark between us…

Then there are those in the greater kink community who think it’s not innate, that it’s a role. I won’t dispute that with you and I”m not looking for arguments here. But I would like to hear cogent reasons why that’s the case for you, if it is…

Let’s talk…

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