I used to be an ordained deacon in the United Methodist Church. I am no longer. Someone followed the online breadcrumbs from the interview in HuffPost about pastors dating, where I am ‘Michael’ (an ironic and bittersweet arbitrary choice on the part of the author, who chose it without telling me, because my late brother’s name was Michael; he died in 2008 and I miss him a lot), they followed the links from there to this site and from here to the Jaiya coaching page which has my real name and picture, and notified the Bishop of the Annual Conference I was a member of, and I resigned my orders on January 30, 2019.
I knew that would happen eventually. I had intended to resign my ordination in the church later this year, this just made that happen a bit ahead of schedule. I want to say that the representatives of the UMC hierarchy that met with me and handled this did an exemplary job, were very pastoral and kind. Rules are rules, I broke one, and they are tasked with enforcing them. I bear no one ill-will and have no hard feelings. This chapter of my life is ended, freeing me to do other things.
When I met my lover R and she found out I was ordained, in early 2017, she dubbed me ‘Slut of the Cloth’ as a play on the old expression for preachers, ‘Man of the Cloth’. The word slut is being reclaimed by the polyamorous community the same way the Sister Goddess community of Regina Thomashauer is reclaiming the word ‘pussy’. I am a slut, proudly. I have multiple lovers, I love sex, I am a fully sexual, polyamorous, heteroflexible man, and while I do not do what are now called ‘hookups’, preferring to be in relationships with depth rather than simply meeting someone for sex, I have no shame about how I live and have a desire to help others shed their shame about everything sexual.
So I am keeping this designation, as ‘Slut of the Cloth’; for one thing, the theology of ordination is confused in several denominations, but in most it is considered an action of God, not of people, and so, like baptism, can’t be repeated or undone. I lost my credentials and recognition and title from the United Methodist Church. But I do not consider that my ordination was surrendered; like in baptism, God doesn’t make mistakes, and the Divine called me to be in ministry. I am still set apart for this by the action of God, not of United Methodist male bishops, and my calling has become clearer and clearer to me over time. So I am retaining this title, and will continue to consider myself a (now non-denominational pastor) as I begin to form a sex-positive, kink-friendly, LGBTQIA+ -affirming, fully welcoming spiritual community. If you want to be part of that message me at David.Henry.EBC@gmail.com
I currently have multiple lovers. I will be writing on this site about the difficulties and joys of that. If you want to comment, just know I will not allow dismissive, abusive, or any other kind of worthless comments.
In this article I am “Michael”.
Find out about my coaching work here….
Find me on FetLife as Slutofthecloth.