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things are changing and shifting in me
sometimes faster than I can call them out
I need to be an auctioneer.
we have a misunderstanding because
of this, my body reacting to energy but looking like
the old stuff you don’t want to be around
and a space opens between us
that I recognize from my marriage
a space of less-than, of where-are-you
and it fills me with momentary dread.
and then my body settles and I know in my skin
you are not her, you are a blazing heat
warming my interior, my fingertips too.
over the next two days the space narrows
and then is gone, evaporated
like the nothing it really was
a hallucination of my fear and past.
we talk over drinks at our table in the bar
you slightly uncomfortable at my focus
holding my hand despite friends around
willing to be seen for yourself with me.
we talk about what is and what could be
the outlines, the boundaries, the desires
and your heat flares from your eyes and your smile
and i imagine in anticipation, soon,
the heat of you pressed against me
washing away all the small everyday doubts
the way last night’s rain, so long awaited
leaves the air this morning
with a slight tang of ozone and smell of wetness