Joy, again

Driving to a nearby town, I feel electricity surging;
my chest full and opening, thoughts of multiple loves
alternating, lifting me, crackling fire overhead,
sensations rippling up my torso, as if I had lit
a sparkler from the bottom, throwing off white-hot bits
Habit can reduce the clarity of sight:
our movements on autopilot, this exit, that side road;
but, when I remember, I see the new leaves,
flowers that yesterday were not yet opened from bud;
my own daily change usually too close at hand to notice,
an autumn leaf of fire more red than expected,
dark sumac berry clusters richer, thicker than remembered
Sitting in a coffee bar, in a buzz of people, I defocus,
trying to see them as I might a flock of birds
or a stream of bats emerging from under a bridge,
all intent on their needs and concerns, driven
by both consciousness and unknown desires;
my attention settles, I notice, holding hands and smiling,
an older gay couple deep in conversation
their care and affection palpable, transparent
surrounded by rightness spiraling out of love
I rejoice that I am alive in a time where they can be open and out,
where I can love many humans, of any gender
my life becoming translucent, unashamed, a channel
Everywhere people flow in and out of my awareness;
I am too small to contain all the love and desire
I am constantly becoming more capacious,
a sparkler as long-lasting as the ones of my childhood
not only gold but red, green, violet, orange, multi-hued,
drawing hearts of sparks in the air
and there is a world of ugliness all around, still;
how dare I, some ask, be overflowingly joyous?
I know only one remedy for hate:
to live as full of joy as I am today, and tomorrow
to do that again, my expansion a middle finger
to the shrunken and mummified that would constrain
I wish for everyone the same electricity
a current of desire running up your spine
filling your eyes with the wetness of awe
spilling out of all of us, flooding everything,
until each day is once again plump, erotic, and complete.

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