one word changes everything

I said
I have been building a room
four walls, floor and ceiling
a room where you can be
enclosed by me;
and you have been going in
and out of the door
for months now.
We have been dancing around
this, that you are mine fully;
that it is your surrender
that I most desire.

Today, I said, today
is the day to decide:
Will you come into my room
and let me make a place
where your soul can explode
in spectacular blossoms
where you can become
your best self?

You were silent for a very
very long time
my hand laying against your scalp
grasping your hair
breathing slowly in your ear as
your body trembled.
I said your body knows the truth of this
You said, all this is in your head,
that’s not enough, I need to feel
your passion.
So I drew you against me, hard,
your nipples grazing my arm
still holding your head
and my leg over yours
against your heat
and I said, is this what you need?

You were silent for a very
very long time
and when I had nearly decided
my holding space and labor,
my self-work to build a room
of integrity and clarity
were in vain, you said
quietly,
Okay.
Nothing will ever be the same, now

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