I’m finding more and more that this mode feels totally natural to me. I have multiple loves. It often comes up and slaps me in the face when I realize someone has reacted poorly to hearing this, or is embarrassed, as though I have revealed deep sexual preferences simply by saying I love multiple people.
An old friend of my ex-wife’s contacted me recently as they didn’t have her address and wanted to send a card, presumably because her mother died a few weeks ago. They asked how I was doing with COVID isolation and I was honest about not getting to see partners, that I would get to see one tomorrow (as I write) and then the conversation ended abruptly. This is a pretty common experience I have now. People say they accept me as I am, and then who and how I am comes up against their discomfort.
I realize most of this is not about me. Everyone has their level of comfort with reveals and honesty.
The main thing I am finding, 3 years into this new life as of this month, is that the level of self-honesty, and thus transparency with others, that is required for me to be congruent in my inner and outer lives is a big plus for me and often a barrier with monogamous people. Poems about polyamory consistently don’t fare well at the weekly open mic I participate in, although they do better than poems about kink….either the primarily younger people there just don’t want to think about a 60 year old man having a sex life, or they are uncomfortable with multiple lovers, or I am totally misreading them..the latter is most likely.
I wouldn’t have things any other way.