D/s thoughts two years in (updated 7/14/20)

It’s been roughly two years (note: as of 7/14/20, 2 1/2 years) since I first voiced my desire to be my Beloved’s Dom. We both were exploring, me being the owner, her the owned at first, then slowly refining this until we did a conscious uncoupling last fall, after we were both being triggered through this. I have learned much since then, about myself, about the D/s dynamic, and about what it might or might not mean for my relationship with her.

It’s been 15 months since I owned that I wanted to be Daddy to my Princess, and we joyously entered that. I am NOT “Daddy Dom” in the traditional sense of this, I can’t understand the desire to discipline a sub, it’s not part of my Dom nature. Just as most real-world fathers are twined around the little finger of a daughter who is their Princess (and, often not in a healthy or boundaried way) I am her servant. My role as Daddy is to nurture, hold, accept, and only peripherally guide her. I cherish the closeness this brings, the ways I am able to be there for her in her harried and full life, and the ways she allows me to care for her, physically and emotionally.

With my Beloved, we are now carefully stepping back into a power-exchange, but a very boundaried one, mostly in the bedroom, in which her desire to be taken and my desire to be the taker are allowed full expression within the consensual non-consent we have agreed upon. Outside the bedroom, she seeks my advice as a friend and lover, and I often am directive because she falls best into her full feminine when her man is in his power, but my previous desire for a 24/7 power exchange was short-sighted and immature.

I am deeply in love with these two amazing, competent, powerful, creative, beautiful, sexy, and sexual women. I am a very, very fortunate, perhaps even blessed, man.

Update 7/14/20

Roughly 2 months ago I met online, began talking to, had a socially-distanced date with, then several real dates after we worked out mutual isolation protocol, E, who is my new service sub. She brings a new level of awareness of my different internal Dom natures to me. She desires hard play as well as tender holding. We have many overlaps in our cultural backgrounds and with her I get to let my sadist out fully. It’s been such fun. She lives about 70 miles away so we have to schedule carefully but it looks as though on average we will see each other every 10-14 days. She is already moving into my heart.

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